I was 12 or 13 I guess, the teenage phase that somehow makes or breaks a person, at least I believe in this. The hormonal changes were making a remarkable change in my life and I could literally feel that. A girl so confident was now becoming shy and may be under confident is the correct word here. I was about to change my school and that made me a bit nervous, I was excited but I was scared at the same time. I didn’t know anyone, I was not used to that atmosphere, my teachers, and my classmates everyone and everything seemed different and somehow scary. I remember I was in my 7th grade when I first moved out of my comfort zone, my previous school where I studied for some good 9 years. It was different very different, I was not used to those faces, those tables and chairs, the building, the teachers, the uniform and almost everything. I remember my first day when I skipped my lunch because it felt extremely weird and lonely, I was starving but I couldn’t eat. Everybody used to stare at me when our class teacher used to do the attendance and stuff because only then I would utter a word and that was “present mam”. I remember how I used to act and call my father so that I could get out of that place because it felt lonely, very lonely. I couldn’t initiate a conversation and I still can’t do that. it took me some 3 to 4 months to adjust and get used to that atmosphere. Finally when I was a bit comfortable I started making friends yes “friends”, some of them were normal but the other ones they somehow ruined that happy teenage phase I could have. I cannot take her name but there was girl in my batch and she was extremely jealous of me I don’t know why but she was, she used to make some false issues so that no one can talk to me and so that everyone will hate me. I again started feeling lonely; I couldn’t find a way out of it. From a rank holder to an average student the journey was very difficult; I could see my parents losing hopes, those 4 years from my 7th grade to my 10th grade she made my life hell. people used to bully me, make fun of my frizzy hair, my body hair and what not… that time I couldn’t really fight with them for making fun of me because I was afraid of the consequences like what if I’ll have to survive alone and what if I’ll have no “friends”. I still remember everything so clearly that how difficult it was to survive back then in that school, that I used to weep at night so that my parents wouldn’t ask me a question. This is not even 10% of what I’ve been through but today after 10 long years when I look back I realize that what an important role my “friends” (bullies) have played in my life, they are the only ones who made me what I am today. I am still shy, I still cannot initiate a conversation, I am still an average student but I have a good heart, I don’t judge people to feed my insecurities, I don’t hate people because they are leading a better life than I am, I don’t make fun of people just because they don’t fit in my definition of the word “perfect”. All of that made me better person for sure, I cried in the beginning but I am smiling right now and I am so so so proud of myself that even though I’ve been through some really hard times in my life but that never made me want to do the same with anyone else. It made me stronger but kind at the same time and I know how it feels to have no one but yourself and I believe that if I can do this you can too, you are your best friend… see I am here right in front of you smiling and having a happy life with some really less but a bunch of real friends, people love me the way I am and even if they do not, I love myself because only I know who and what I am.
Prasheeta – The brave-heart.